Hi TJ. Thanks for taking the time to read my article, plus I really appreciate your very respectful response.

Your question, as I understand it, is “Why do gays need to publicly identify as ‘gay.’” Of course I cannot speak for all gays, but I have mentored thousands of gay Christians, plus I am gay myself.

First, when we gay Christians say we are “gay” it simply means we have predominate and enduring same sex attraction (and lack such toward females). This is not a statement that we engage in intercourse or any erotic foreplay (which is something that at least 80% of straight evangelicals do repeatedly prior to marriage).

So many Christians from my era (I am 68 years old) associate the word gay with promiscuity and AIDS. I am not promiscuous and neither are the majority of gay Christians. And none of the men I mentored had AIDS. Straight adults over ~age 50 who are evangelicals generally bristle at the term gay.

The only way to break their wrongful (and very abusive) stereotype is for gay Christians to come out. The more straights see how normal it is to be gay, the less prejudice occurs. And all gay men desire complete fairness and dignity.

So, we courageously come out (knowing we will get backlash and isolation from some) in hope to change society’s misguided beliefs about gays.

The gay Christians I know are either celibate or in a relationship with a man (following the same cultural norms for relationship as evangelical men have in their relationship with their chosen woman).

My bottom line: Until all straight Christians learn that “gay” is simply a different attraction than straight — and says nothing about sexual behavior — then we gays will continue to receive second-class citizenship within our own churches. And, simply, we are not “lesser than” straights.

Thanks so much for your excellent, respective inquiry and desire to learn. I wish all people demonstrated your outstanding character.