I used to be a leader in evangelicalism, while silently counseling gay Christian men to stop attempting to change their orientation - and instead realize how much Jesus loves you - exactly as you are. So, naturally, when I publicly and universally came out as gay, many an evangelical friend "encouraged" me with their "speak the truth in love." And their "truth" was that I needed to change my perspective to be in line with theirs. And their "love" was to warn me that I am "headed for disaster" if I do not change. Sigh.